Like so many things in motherhood, there’s a whole section of “I wish someone had warned me about this” for breastfeeding. You could write an encyclopedia the size of the Eiffel Tower, and you would still not come up with an exhaustive resource for new moms about what to expect when they boob their babies.
The best I can do is go straight to the source: mothers. Think of this post as an evolving collection of hard earned advice from Mamas who lived these experiences on their skin. Maybe you’ll see something that resonates with you; maybe you won’t. And if you don’t, feel free to drop a comment at the end of the post (or shoot me an email) and share your unique, individual experience. I will keep updating it as new tidbits come in.
I’ll start us off.
I wish I had known about the importance of pumping to relieve engorged breasts in the early months. I thought pumping was only to set milk aside for babysitting purposes, and feed the baby if I went out for dinner or something. I had no idea how crucial it could be to my personal health. I just knew I “had to have a breast pump” once baby arrived, but its role, usage and different purposes were a mystery to me. Sure, you can always google the living shit out of anything, but really, what kind of quality assurance is there for what you read online?
Especially when it comes to something so delicate, so powerful and consequential, defining, even, in a woman’s life. I am beyond grateful for my little Haakaa pump, but I found out about it completely by chance, and I learned more about pumping through their instruction leaflet than I did by listening to “experts” online. I get the irony, since here you are, reading about breastfeeding, online, on a blog, no less. So I’m going to stop before I try to sound like an expert, and hand the reins over to some wonderful Mamas who have generously agreed to share their insights; names have been changed to protect their privacy.
What do you wish you had known before you started breastfeeding?
Alecia, @raisingprincesswarriors: “I always tell my new moms breastfeeding is hard, like really hard. The first 6 weeks are the hardest. You and your baby are doing something neither one of you have ever done before. It’s not beautiful and magical. Your boobs leak and they hurt. You will cry more than once. BUT… if you persevere, seek help (preferably an IBCLC or CLC, NOT your pediatrician) you will wind up with the most rewarding experience of your life. The connection you make with your child is one of a kind when you breastfeed.”
Isabelle, in Switzerland: Mastitis doesn’t always show the textbook symptoms, so if what you think is a clogged duct isn’t getting better and you’re feeling extra tired (even with no fever or redness), get yourself checked out before it turns into something nasty (ie an abscess). Trust your gut instinct! Also, La Leche League has round the clock free telephone and email assistance in pretty much every country and free meetups.
Lana, lawyer: “Your boobs are going to get huge and you will enjoy how they look. Then they will totally deflate and even maybe become smaller than before, and you will consider plastic surgery for the first time”.
Stella, psychologist: “That you’re not a bad mom if you don’t do it [breastfeeding]. That it can be painful at first but that it might get easier with time. That if you give your baby a bottle instead of nursing, you still have to let the milk out to avoid clogged ducts / infection. That you’ll wake up with your t-shirt looking like a puddle. That men will either look away uncomfortably or look too long creepily”.
Carole, consultant: “The negative part: That it is possible to make perfectly rational moms feel like they are giving poison to their children when they give even just an ounce of formula. Even though they grew up on formula themselves…and while the Canadian (and other) health system is geared towards treating moms who struggle with breastfeeding (aka almost any mom) like shit, you should just ignore them because regardless you are a good mom and doing what is best for you and the baby.
The positive part: while something can be so painful and difficult in the beginning, it can become better and easier, so if you want to and can stick it out it’s worth trying. When Chloe was 3 weeks old a friend of mine asked me if I enjoyed breastfeeding as much as she did. I looked at her as if she was from Mars with my painful nipples and tired from pumping and feeding around the clock. But a few months later I could see what she meant”.
Andrea, accountant: “That’s it’s not natural and it won’t always work, and you’re not the devil if you choose not to [breastfeed]”.
Giorgia, project manager: “My biggest challenge breastfeeding was that my daughter ate constantly. My mother told me I used to feed only every three hours; my girlfriends had to wake up their babies every 2 hours otherwise they wouldn’t eat. So these stories were what I considered ‘normal’. But my daughter wanted to feed constantly. She would breastfeed for 10 minutes, fall asleep for 20 and then wanted to start all over again. So I would panic, worrying she wasn’t getting enough milk. She totally was, though, she was just on her own schedule. I think it’s important to know for mothers that each breastfeeding experience is different and all the wisdom in the world that people think they should share with you doesn’t necessarily translate for you, and worse, just causes you unnecessary anxiety”.
What do you wish you had known before you started breastfeeding? Drop me a line in the comments or send me an email!
